Magnetic Powers

What would happen if, whenever you enter a shop, the alarm went off? Yes, I am talking about the electronic article surveillance security system or (as it is more commonly known to my brain) the two scary bars on either side of me that shriek as soon as I enter and leave a store.

Gone are the days when I was just another carefree shopper, walking in and out, window shopping to my heart’s desire. Now, I physically cringe every time I walk through those magnetic beams, waiting to hear the sound of the alarm, and breathing a sigh of relief when I don’t.

To this day, I haven’t figured out what it is in my bag which makes the security system scream. I have tried everything – from changing bags to taking smaller purses – but all in vain. In fact, one time I even tried carrying only my wallet. What happened then? I was still greeted by the loud crude sound that I have come to detest so much. Another time, I went to five shops, and at the sixth shop, my bag started beeping.

I am now reduced to asking someone else to carry my wallet in their bag. The strange thing is that the alarm does not beep when the wallet is in someone else’s possession. This made me reach the conclusion that it is I who makes the alarm system go off and not the contents of my bag. It is me that the system is bawling at (perhaps reprimanding me for not buying anything?). 

The only possible conclusion I have reached is that I somehow develop magnetic powers during the course of my shopping. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? Then again, a security alarm going off only when you enter a shop – in no universe is that deemed as ‘normal.’


To read a slightly different version of this same article, click here.